Smoph's musings

Just my thoughts on the world

Dating scene ala 2009

Dating is such an American term for what is essentially people getting together and seeing each other. Everyone assumes its so easy for the 20-somethings to get on. But its not as easy as it seems, especially from the girls point of view.

The sexual revolution both freed and crippled us. It freed us so that we could love people physically if we so chose. It crippled us by letting men see us as purely sexual objects. Don’t get me wrong, I like the freedom to choose. I just object to the assumption that I want only to be a sexual object. I want someone to romance me, to get to know me, to enjoy the brain I have in my head. I don’t want to “cam” or tell someone what “position” I enjoy, because that will all come if you actually bother to get to know me.

I do not look like a model, I am a size 18 who tries to be fitter and healthier (and sometimes I am). But I want to go out and meet people, but I get caught in the web that is the internet, where everything is judged on looks (and I judge too), as is the nature of this dating medium. Unfortunately, we do not have the neighbourhood groups of my parents age, or the socials of my grandparents time. My meeting of boys falls down to 3 options: meet as friends of friends or family, meet over the internet or meet in a public place where a large amount of alcohol is likely to present and imbibed (knowing my generation as I do). Somehow, where our family and friends do not connect to such large groups as they used to, more and more people are turning to the internet as a solution. I understand why, but for me, it just doesn’t work.

So I will try and get out there more, between my work, my exercise and seeing the friends I so rarely have time for. Rock on, dating in 2009.

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